Maltese Crichton AU
by bitchy brunette
Summary: What could've happened if everything went wrong? (A tiny little fic J/A based)


A/N: I know! Another song-fic. But you know what? Up yours! If you don't like it, don't read it. :P   
Summary: Pretend Aeryn knows about Jena, somehow, ok? This is how she's feeling.  
Archive: You want it? : Insert shocked look here:  
Disclaimer: Not mine. Not making any $, either. The song is "Strawberry Marigold" by Joydrop. I have no idea what one of the verses says, it goes to fast and to blurred for me to piece it out, so I'm leaving it out. Deal, all right?  
  
  
  
Cover me in fire / Drop me down to the deepest darkest ocean / So I never have to feel that way again   
  
Aeryn sat alone in the Cargo bay. Leaning against a large pile of boxes and other various containers, she rested her head on her arms, which were crossed over her knees, that were pulled up to her chest. Her feet were bare, and her hair was loose around her shoulders, so she looked small and innocent. She was wearing all black, and at first glance, all anyone could see was part of a pale, grieving face, complete with huge steel blue eyes firmly set on the wall in front of her. A gold comm badge lay in pieces in front of the prone form. Aeryn had smashed it when Crichton kept calling her. She just wanted to be alone. Couldn't he understand?  
  
Color on a carpet / Seven eyes on a sea / There's a feeling that comes over you / When you know that something has changed forever   
  
Aeryn didn't notice the door slide quietly open. John's first idea of her whereabouts was the terrace, but didn't even bother to look, knowing that after everything that had happened between the two there, that was one of the last places she'd visit. He stared at her, not really seeing. She looked so fragile, and it broke his aching heart. How could he have done that to her? Why?  
  
Don't loose your wings till you learn how to sing yourself to sleep / I know it seems funny / But maybe we just said goodbye / I feel strange enough to cry / Strawberry marigold smile  
  
Aeryn shuddered. The tremor caused a tear to slide down her translucent cheek, and fall onto her ashen arm, a crystalline puddle to represent the despondency she felt inside. She knew John was watching her. He made it so painfully obvious. She hated to have him see her like this, crying over his scandal with that Peacekeeper slut.   
  
Please don't bring me down with that look on your face because I almost didn't make it and one day I just might / Now how'd that feel?   
  
John hated himself. Everything that he'd worked so hard for with Aeryn was all gone, it had dissipated like morning fog because he made a dumb decision. One John would probably regret till his dying day. He'd much rather have Aeryn screaming, yelling, and even strangling him than this downcast attitude and the tears. The entire picture pulled at his severed heart.   
  
Don't loose you're wings till you learn how to sing yourself to sleep / I know it seems funny but maybe we just said goodbye / I feel strange enough to cry / Strawberry marigold smile (Repeat till end)  
  
John wondered what he should do. He didn't want to make matters worse by coming to comfort her, but he didn't want to seem insensitive, or that he didn't care about what he'd done. Aeryn wondered why John hadn't come to console her yet. She had been sitting and just thinking for a long time. Now it was time to talk. She wasn't looking forward to it, but was hoping to recover piece of mind once it was over.   
John decided to just go to her. He walked out from the shadows. Aeryn didn't move a muscle. "Aeryn, I- we need to talk." Aeryn still didn't move. Then, deliberately, as if it hurt, she nodded.   
"I am so sorry. I know that what I say can't make up for how badly I hurt you. I just wanted you to know. I am such an ass. I frelled up big time."  
"No. You don't have to say anything." Aeryn lifted her head from her arms, which were beginning to cramp, and straightened out her sore legs. "We aren't anything. I think that was blatantly obvious on the planet. You don't owe me anything, least of all an apology."   
Aeryn gritted her teeth against the reply. It was time for them to face the truth. And she knew it, whether John wanted to admit it or not. John sat by her, far enough away so that she was comfortable, but close enough to convince her that he did care. He stared ahead at the wall, like she'd been doing only moments earlier. "Is that what you think, or what you want?"  
Aeryn sighed. "It isn't about what I want. It's the truth. And you full well know it. You can't wait for me, and I can't speed things up. This is how it has to be." Aeryn's eyes filled again, but she pressed her jaws together tightly, as though the motion could stop the onslaught of teardrops that threatened to rain on her again.   
"No. No it doesn't. I know it sounds stupid, but I was sure you'd left. I didn't see you at the wedding; no one knew where you were. Aeryn, I thought you'd walked out of my life forever. It doesn't excuse what I did, but I hope it explains it more. I want to do this." John resisted the urge to touch her, hold her hand, something. But he knew it'd probably do more harm than good at this point.  
"Maybe we're fooling ourselves. Remember the conversation we had? The one about being able to overcome anything? What did you say, after I told you we could run?"  
John hesitated, knowing where this was going. "I said that we couldn't overcome each other. Or something along the lines of that."   
"Yes. What if you were right?"  
"What if I was wrong?" John turned his head, and the desolate pair stared at each other, blue eyes meeting blue.   
"We haven't even tried, Aeryn. Anything could happen." Aeryn put something in his hand.   
John looked at the tiny bottle in his hand. He knew that no words could convey what he wanted to express, so he kept silent, and pulled out the stopper on the small flask. Aeryn looked intently at it, trying to avoid eye contact. John touched the tip of the seal to his tongue, and dipped it back into the brilliant yellow liquid. He held it out to Aeryn's tongue carefully. Her eyes were opened wide, and her heart was pounding. The suspense was killing them. Slowly, achingly slowly, their eyes never leaving each other, they reached out their tongues to touch. The tension was thick enough to cut with a knife, as John and Aeryn slowly leaned toward one another. The kiss was brief, but spoke volumes more than either of them could have said at the moment. John leaned back slightly, looking at Aeryn, only slightly amazed. Before Aeryn could even stop herself, she smiled, got up, and left the Cargo bay. John's face reflected the smile.   
"Looks like it's gonna be a good day." John muttered, and left the Bay.   
  
  
  
  
  
ENDING B  
  
…The kiss was brief, but spoke volumes for Aeryn's case. Her eyes filled with tears, this was the sign she'd been searching for. Aeryn prayed that the tears wouldn't overflow while she was with him, but her prayers went unanswered. Silently sobbing, Aeryn fled from the Cargo bay, never looking back. John slumped against the wall in defeat. His fears had been confirmed. Crushed, the human trudged from the bay, tears in his own eyes. It was over before it had even begun. 


End file.
